ECONSPACE

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Storm

There's a storm brewing outside the room while I'm typing this... And there's really a storm going in our house. The house is divided in factions: my dad who turned out to be quite an arrogant piece of jerk when the going gets tough and my sister... Just hopes that this storm blows over... It's tearing the whole house apart literally and figuatively. Never in my life have I seen both parties so mad at each other... Simple reason, financial matters... Dad's losing money and Sister's quite pretty well off.. Story, Dad wants Sister to shoulder most of the bills which is quite unfair to sister... aaah... pretty pathetic Ain't it... aaah... damnit...

------

First article to be made and published: Ihaw-Ihaw stands... quite pathetic and i don't like my topic very much but what the heck, this is my 1st article and am going to ace it in my own way...

------

Shels failed the Monbusho... She spent the whole afternoon crying over my shoulders... It really meant a lot for her... And I just did my job as her closest friend...

------

Uber busy, uber busy...

Monday, June 28, 2004

in deep Sh!t

I guess the feeling of euphoria is just an ephemeral and fleeting feeling... After being in a period of elation after celebrating in the House Warming and in the White Party, I was pretty much given hell by my father and my sister when I got home... I was just so tired of partying the whole night that I can't keep my eyes open while they kept on telling me that I should stay home and stuff like that...

I know that I'm in for a bad day... After finally letting me sleep around 7:00 in the morning (arrived home at 5:40 and they kept on yelling my head off for about 1 hour and 20 minutes), i woke up around 5 in the afternoon really feeling hungry... and they are all there in the living room as if they are judges waiting to pass sentence on me... And as judges, they really passed an almost death sentence on me... All my money last Saturday which was roughly 1,700 + 60 change were sequestered by my sister and I'm only allowed to have just a 100 pesos a day for my baon which is quite abyssmal since i've already reached the 300 a day baon... damn...

and as if to punish me further, my pc crashed, deleting all files... word, excel, powerpoints and mp3's and video files... aaaaah... all the porn, all the music, all the reports... damnit... and tomorrow's our Lit. presentation... deep Sh!t... damn...

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Orientation

Really feeling woozy and doozy a lot... Tired after being stucked in a meeting yesterday then meeting Roy and Dennis in a certain place and laughing our hearts out, then today's orientation... Have a report on Monday for International Studies, one on Tuesday for Asian Literature and I did not submit my yearbook application form.. aaah... just plain tired....

Friday, June 25, 2004

Can't stop blogging

can't stop blogging... now's the only time I'm free since around 5:30 section meeting of the B&K section of the APP...

------

invited a couple of friends to the White Party tomorrow... mighty happy that all wanted to come... then, got a call just about a few minutes earlier from my batchmate in high school asking me if i could go on a gimik tomorrow with them... then it's the ODDERS gimik and despidida for the one and only DOC Rommel...

------

Currently in deep shit because I did not coordinate with my groupmates in International Studies... nah... they'll call later... =)

------

can't think of anything to write about as of the moment... maybe a film review of SHrek... hahahaha... euphoric that's what I'm feeling... =)

------

song of the moent: Hands To Heaven by Christian Bautista. woke up this morning to the sound of the radio blaring out this song... and i liked it...

Hands to Heaven

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye, goodbye

Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

Being a Journalist... at last

Last Saturday, I took up the application tests for campus journalism for both Ang Pahayagang Plaridel and The La Sallian. And the lucky thing is that I've passed both tests... Last Wednesday, I've had my interview with the Buhay At Kultura (B&K) editor so as to meet me personally and have a go at me so as to find out whether I'm personally qualified to be part of the team... Met D.A., the editor and my plu-dar went haywire... he's also a plu and he's discreet about it and he's very much comfortable with himself... Introduced myself and interview started.. Different questions were asked until the topic turned to sexuality... It's the article which I have written on the final part of the test where we were asked to do a mini article of the lead story of the B&K section. It's a compilation of the different advances that has changed in the gay lifestyle as the years passed and the different constraints which hinders to full homosexual integration into the society... First question asked is why I choose to write this topic, Being truthful and frank, I blurted out that I chose to write about that topic because it is close to my heart... With that knowing look, he just nodded and we sort of smiled at each other, understanding each other and communicating silently... After that is the dreaded talent portion...... I decided to imitate several AI performances and sang I've got the Music in Me, Something to Talk About, Son of A Preacherman, HeatWave, You're All I Need to Get By, You Make Me feel BRand New and You Keep me Hanging On... think that I'm mostly out of tune but I really decided to thicken my face a lot and perform and just enjoy the moment... really really felt great after that...

Later that night, I got a call from D.A. congratulating me because I'm officially a correspondent for Ang Pahayagang Plaridel and I'm supposed to do residency next week... mighty happy for that one because finally, I've got what I wanted and I'm given the time to pursue it... when I was a froshie, I tried my luck with The La Sallian, passed the test, did not pass the interview... rejected... 3rd year, tried again for The La Sallain... passed both the test and the interview, but I found that the atmosphere there is stiffling and containing and very much homophobic and snobbish, I know that I ain't gonna grow there hence, I have quit... now, it's APP... their bunch is a whole lot of different from the others and I've got time in my side... I just would like to finally fulfill to write for the school paper... aaaah.... mighty happy for this whole new experience...

the call of Japan

Last Monday, I've accompanied my best friend Shella to the Japanese Emabassy so as to review for her application for the Monbukagusho scholarship test which she has taken last Wednesday. Since I was pretty much free the whole afternoon since I have done all things necessary, I've accompanied her... The whole past week she's been quite frantic since it's really her dream to be studying in the Japanese soil... the test comprised of Mathematics, World History and English... English is no fucking problem for both of us since we're quite articulate in communicating in English quite well... I've bee her tutor for History since I've been pretty much adept in the subject but when it comes to the Math part, I can't offer her any assistance since i'm pretty much scared of math itself... So we arrived at the embassy around 3 o clock since we sort of kinda get sidetracked along the way... Quite a fun experience for me quite well because I know that I'm doing something good for a really really great person and I'm quite happy that I could be of service to her... I really like Shels, if not for the fact that I'm gay, I might have fallen for her since she's really good, articulate, intelligent and our thoughts always seems to jibe with each other... Wait a minute, it sounds like the write-up and testimonial I have given to her for our yearbook... so on with the story, we arrived at three and quizzed each other and I acted as a sounding board for her... Even met quite a number of hot Japanese dudes in the library and always the bitch, I started a conversation with them... turned out their studying at DLSU too... oh well... prospect but I believe in the saying "Dont shit where you eat" but I kinda broke that rule quite a dozen of times before... okey I'm getting sidetracked here... Met a couple of few other people taking up the Monbusho test and they really looked frazzled... Around 5:05, we're herded out and we went back to DLSU and had a nice talk... Shels really is so in love with Japan...

When I was young, I never really liked Japan... Japanese culture really is kinda weird for me the whole time when I was a kid. The only thing which Japan made that I liked is the Street Fighter series... Now, as I grow older, I'm slowly understanding why so many people are going ga-ga for Japan. Economically speaking, Japan's the trend setter of Asia. Singapore maybe richer and China maybe considered the next big thing but Japan's the current leader in the field. Culturally speaking, Japan's got the most intact culture among the countries of the world. Eventhough it was influenced by China at the onset, Japan has created a culture which is so unique and different from their parent culture. Their culture reflects a certain sense of mysticism and honor which is very much intriguing for me... plus, everything about them is so unique... Despite the foreign opening of Japan to the world, very much the same culture since the olden times... aaaah... i think i'd like to study in japan... or if not study, maybe visit this wonderful country, go to Heian-kyo aka Kyoto, stand there with the Sakura blossoms slowly falling around me, then eat authentic katsudon and tea served by the geishas in their restaurants and just fill my senses with everything that is Japan

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Foursome

I never ever thought that I would host a foursome party in my house last Thursday... I was just typing my Eastern Asian History report on the Boxer Rebellion and making a Powerpoint presentation for my International studies class when I began to experience a severe calling of the loins begging for my cum to be spilled... so I just chatted while finishing the powerpoint presentation since I only have a couple of slides left... posted an add in the IRC channels and a dozen of people replied... I've picked 3 other people to come to our house and do the nasty with me... They are Robert from UP-Manila, Rafael from UST and Jo Ed from my school.. I never really felt so horny in my whole life and I lucked that they are really cute and really intelligent... if there's one thing that I'm looking for is an intelligent fuck and lay... Oh well... really turned out to be one hot early morning fuck... I guess I really am a whore... and I think I'm liking it

Hiatus

I was so freaking busy with sex and other stuff stuff that I forgot to chronicle my life... and in about 30 minutes, I'm going to have my interview in Ang Pahayagang Plaridel... Yess... I've passed the application test for both the Plaridel and The La Sallian and I've scheduled interviews with them.... oh well... hope the interview really goes well....

Had dozens of different developments to write about.... so little time.... maybe later.... =)

Friday, June 18, 2004

Friday Blues

I don't know what's wrong with me... I really don't know what to do with my life... I thought that having an Education degree with an AB degree is quite okey but it seems to me there's this always something repressed in me that I can't unleash. I don't know what's really wrong with me as of the moment... There's something missing in my life... it's as if there's such a big gap in my life; a void which I could not fill because I don't know what it is...

It isn't really my love life... I think I could stand by myself regarding that matter and there are always caring friends for me to talk with in times of my deepest depths...

It isn't really my academic life... Eventhough I have failed twice during my entire stay here in my school, I have a CGPA of 2.98 which is relatively high and I could say that I'm a really relatively bright student. I'm also quite dilligent when it comes to submission of requirements...

It isn't really my social life. I have my friends... both here in school... I have my best friends Mikee and Shella, I have the ODDERS always there on my call to be able to help me... In fact, I'm renewing my relationships with my batchmates from Manila Science High and I think the response is quite positive...

I think the only relationship i have which isn't really ok is with my family... Over the years, I have dropped subtle hints about what really is my true sexuality... I've engaged heart to heart talks with my cousins and they really accepted my sexuality and commended me for being so brave to announce it to them... Over the phone earlier, I dropped the bomb on my sister... I came out to her... And she cried over the phone.. I don't know if she's disgusted with me or she's feeling for me but she affirmed her support for whatever endeavor I want to delve into... Of all the people, I think she really is somewhat disappointed with me because they viewed me as the man who would proliferate and be the father of many little Elizaldes but I guess it won't be happening... the next challenge is to come out to my father, a Couples for Christ Cluster Head... I know that this is the next challenge... My father and I really haven't been close to the point that I'm comfortable with him around... In fact, I'm scared of him, I really don't know what is he thinking and feeling off... I think I just might hide myself from him... or come out at the risk of being cut off from the family and live my life as an outcast... oh well...


hohummmm....

hohummmmm....

I think I'd like to take some sleep....

--------

lifted from Kenzo's blog: =) thanks btw for the mini-chats

HHandy
EExhausting
NNeglected
RRounded
YYoung

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Today's such a ho-hum day... maybe, time to raid the chatrooms... and meet again with several people

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Getting Involved

Today is the recruitment week of the different organizations here in the University and once, again, I'm feeling left out... Unlike my other friends who are fierce advocates of being in the Student Council and stuff like that, I don't have any organizations here in DLSU, except for my Debate Society whom I really not feel somewhat cool with... Once again, I've been left out... Last year, I've tried out my skills in Campus Journalism Writing and tried to entered The La Sallian... I've passed the test and the interview part and even managed to become a newbie... but, I did not continued my journalism stint at that time because, well, maybe because that I wasn't ready to do that stuff yet at that time... But now, I'm ready to start again in the La Sallian... passed the application form and stuff like that... besides, I decided to become more involved in extra-curricular activities... Currently, I've passed my application forms for ESSENCE, the professional organization for the Education students, ECONORG, my major's professional organization and also I've decided to join LITCIRCLE, so as to further my hobby of reading books... I also decided to join my own college's program of mentoring freshmen people for about their 1st year here... I've picked up a good-looking and somewhat hunky named Vincent Paolo Cheng, a frosh taking up Bsed major in Mathematics, Chinese jun-jun type.. yummy...seen his profile and he's very smart and he really loves to become a professor too... Will meet him next Wednesday... Maybe, I would go further into this Ate-kuya relationship... Tempting... yes very much tempting...

---

I can't stop tinkering about my new blog look... does it look ok? kindly comment...

---

Lakers lost to the Pistons ! damn, damn damn... lost 500 bucks to my sister which I'm gonna pay when she comes back next monday morning....

---

Econ's song of the moment:I've Got the Music In Me by Diana De Garmo and I BELIEVE by Fantasia Barrino

This is the only song of Diana De Garmo which I liked... =) as for the second song, I Believe is the victory song by American Idol Fantasia Barrino... Why these two songs, they're quite fun, and very optimistic... empowering...

I've Got the Music In Me

Ain't got no trouble in my life
No foolish dream to make me cry
I'm never frightened or worried
You know I always get by.
I heat up
I cool down
Something gets in my way I go around it
Don't let life get me down
Gonna take it the way that I found it

I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me

I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me

You say that life is a circle
But that ain't the way that I found it
Oh...Gonna move in a straight line
Keeping my feet firmly on the ground
I heat up
I cool down
I got words in my head so I say them
Don't let life get me down
I can't hold onto the blues so I play them

I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me

I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me
I've got the music in me

and

I BELIEVE

Have you ever you ever reached a rainbow's end
And did you find your pot of gold
Ever catch a shooting star
Tell me how high did you soar
Ever felt like you were dreaming
Just to find that you're awake
Cause the magic that surrounds you
Will lift you up and guide you on your way

I can see it in the stars across the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
See I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally yeah

I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacle
Won't let this dream fall apart
See I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible
When you believe yeah

I can see it in the stars up in the sky
Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before
Now I finally realize
I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive
And finally I believe
Yes I believe

Ohh Yeah

Love keeps liftin me higher
Liftin me higher
Love keeps liftin me higher
I said love keeps liften
Love keeps liften me
I said Love keeps liften
Love keeps liften me higher
Said love keeps liften me higher
I said love keeps liften me high



Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Feeling like a Slut

Yesterday, my horny-ness level peaked... I've got three guys whom I'd have sex with. I've got Mike, an engineering student of the COE of DLSU for my afternoon merienda and Jason and Rafael, both engineering students of UST for my early midnight snack... Don't want to talk about my encounters up to the details but I did enjoy them...

What I wish to blurt out is that I did not have any feelings of like being used or "pinarausan lang" yesterday when I had sex with those guys. When I've had seb's when I was a bit younger and a newbie in this lifestyle, I always get the feeling of like being used... I mean, it's like you just meet up and do it and then say goodbye... I could say that I have progressed from feeling that... Yesterday after doing it and just contemplating in the silence of my abode, I felt really peaceful and in tune with my self... While I'm just smelling the incense burning, I really felt calm... Contrary to what I'm expecting, i really felt good... Gone are the tensions and the different stresses that I have been feeling ever since my relationship with motherfucking Elwyn have all been gone... Finally, I've been able to breathe easily again...

-------- Coffee Break ----------------------------------------------

Ok, I really feel good having sex with those guys... I never thought that acting a slut sometimes is good... it's a very much good coping up mechanism believe me... Plus, Mike and I had a really really nice intellectual conversation yesterday, we sort of bonded together since he really is also an avid reader of books and we talked about Stephen King, John Grisham to the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys Mystery Series up to the magical realism of Laura Esquivel and Gabriel Garcia Marquez.... but he's not looking for a relationship and neither am I so I guess it's just gonna be fucking friends only... plus, the two guys with whom I had threesome with are very intellectual too... Enjoyed it really much because not only my sexual desire was curved also my intellectual needs too...

------- Cigarette Break --------------------------------------------

In our Literature class, we're supposed to do and make our own haikus.. and poems... This is the thing I have been dreading... Ask me to write a short story, ask me to create an editorial article, ask me even to write a sports article but I could never write poetry... I never really feel so good about the different poems I have made... It's just really not my style......

Econ's song of the moment: Chain of Fools, version of Fantasia Barrino
Chain Of Fools



Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain...chain...chain..)
(Chain of fools)

For five long years
I thought you were my man
But I found out, I?m just a link in your chain
Oh, you got me where you want me
I ain?t nothin but your fool
Ya treated me mean
Oh you treated me cruel

Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain
Chain of fools)

Every chain, has got a weak link
I might be weak child, but I?ll give you strength
Oh, babe
(Woo, woo, woo, woo)
You told me to leave you alone
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)
My father said ?Come on home?
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)
My doctor said ?Take it easy?
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)
Oh but your lovin is just too strong
(Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo)
I?m added to your
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain...chain...chain...)
Chain of fools

Oh, one of these mornings
The chain is gonna break
But up until the day
I?m gonna take all I can take, oh babe

Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain, chain, chain)
Chain, chain, chain
(Chain...chain...chain...)
(Chain of fools)

Oh!
(Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain)
(Chain, chain, chain)
Oh-oh!
(Chain, chain, chain, -ain, ain, ain, ain)
Your chain of fools
FADES-
Oooooooooooooooooh......




Monday, June 14, 2004

Resurgence

From the depths of despair and from the ashes of defeat, the phoenix is to be reborn again in an never ending cycle... I would like to consider myself as a phoenix... After crashing to the deepest despairs last Friday, I somewhat cried after... Then I got a call from one of my former chatmates, Mike from the COE of DLSU (another engineer) and had a somewhat long chat over the phone over the things we have talked about when we were chatting when I was in leave (2002).. then motherfucking Elwyn called and decided to harangued me over the phone and I bitched around... I was really in a foul and tired mood when Joms called saying that they're gonna be waiting for me in Malate... since I'm just home alone and it's gonna be independence day (what a coincidence, it's independence day the following day and I got dumped by the person I've trusted, what an independence day), I just went to them and partied in bed. While in BED, i was just quite mighty apprehensive of hooking up with someone I barely know, but what the heck I did it and even brought the guy home... Oh well.. Guess it really is an independence day...

Yesterday, I contemplated on the reasons why my relationship with Elwyn faltered and I think Joms is right. I don't know to control my lover... I have been the giver in the relationships, always the one asking and doing everything that my lover wants and needs. In a way, I've been their advisers in academic affairs and I have just been there for them... In this way, I have become very much attached to my lovers to the point that I have become dependent on them for the mere existence... All of my decisions are based on the welfare of my lovers... In a way, I have lost my voice in the relationship, I have become just a mere puppet to those voice ready to just follow them like a puppy... tsk tsk... Damn... now, I'm currently in the slut stage.. EB's here and there... maybe SEB's... don't know... but I'm still the ever-resurgent Phoenix... Thank you for being there for me... =)

Friday, June 11, 2004

I would like to die... I would like to feel the spirit drifting and slowly flowing away from me... Never have I felt so depressed... Never have I felt so sad.. I feel like I'm being forsaken, i feel like wanting the whole earth to swallow me whole and I feel like welcoming it... The dark is calling me... I think I should succumb and bow to the darkness.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Still Solo

Still solo at the house... Mightily bored to death... Elwyn called... did not answered... Elwyn called again... I answered and asked for a cool-off from this crazy relationship... Elwyn threatened me, I did not wavered in my decision... Frankly, it's nice to be free again, free again... oh well... nice to escape from his abuses mentally and emotionally...

Aaaah... I just would like to finally live for myself.... a thing which i have not done ever since I've entered in relationships...


Monday, June 07, 2004

Solitude

Since my dad is currently in a convention for his religious organization and my 2 sisters are in Cavite baby-sitting for my nephew, Benedict, and since the unfortunate trimestral calendar that De La Salle has, I have to stay home alone and be lonely... I've been alone since Saturday night and the house isn't quite well if you look at the current condition of our house.... Gladly, I would have welcomed the break from them haggling over stuff over me and telling me what to do... But, the silence is defeaning... My 1st reactiion when they said they were leaving was suddenly grinning like crazy, thinking of inviting Elwyn over for several rounds of sex, break, then sex again until our body juices went dry... I thought of having kinky stuff, do the things that married couples do, cook for him, serve him... but alas, things between Elwyn and I deteriorated into the next level and we hardly say a word each other... Even today in my class, he always seemed aloof and took great pains in ignoring me... Frankly speaking, it pains me so much because I know that we connected yet there's just some things that I can't change and I'm quite sick of making him change... I'm so much exhausted... Which brings me to thinking about Marlon, remembering the good things together and also the thought of him with that shithole in SM north... damn, is there really a guy out here for me....

Hope the solitude will make me think and ponder about what I should do about my life....

Friday, June 04, 2004

PAST VS. PRESENT

I sincerely did not expected the way things turned out yesterday. Elwyn and I are just having our after-class chats when the inevitable happened. We met Marlon in the lobby of Miguel Hall around 8 yesterday evening.

Elwyn and I met after my Literature 2 class so as to talk about the widening gap which is happening between us. I have become mighty uncomfortable talking with him and trying to communicate with him. There’s this some communication gap which is really tearing me up apart. The gap has became very large and we even argue about small and simple things. I can’t bear but diss him a couple of times yesterday because he suddenly became so anal about all things and even to the point of criticizing me and the way my life has been.

I am the giver in the relationship, the one who always yields to him, the one who always bows to his whims and always into his submission. In relationships, I have been the one making the efforts to please and satisfy my lover. I’m the one who always thinks about what we’ll do next and stuff like that. And I think I’m getting sick of that role… I want to be the one pampered just for a little while…

So basically, we’re sitting under one of the sheds in front of Miguel and Mutien Marie Halls when I saw Marlon approaching me… and my heart and mind suddenly began to go uh-oh… Elwyn already knows about what Marlon has done to me and Marlon already knows about the current deteriorating state of my relationship with Elwyn… and I felt so awkward about the situation… I don’t know how to introduce Marlon to Elwyn and vice versa… Turned out to be quite well… since arguments did not occur but I could swear the temperature even dropped quite a lot… Marlon just said hi and walked away… while Elwyn and I continued our verbal war with me ending up again as the casualty and again admitting that I’m wrong so as to stop the argument. Went home quite irritated about the whole night, in the process letting myself get drizzled and rained upon…

While taking a bath when I arrived in our house, I can’t help but compare the two men who have been playing a significant role in my life…. Physically speaking, Marlon is the better looker than Elwyn but when it came to the tool, Elwyn is bigger by Marlon by half-an inch… but, what really matters to me is the emotional aspect of each person… Elwyn is somewhat brash, a hedonist, well I could say that he’s quite there when I’m ready to fall, a nice kisser, plus he’s got this great tendency to easily give in to the whims of the flesh… on the other hand, Marlon is quite sweeter, introspective, a hedonist too, also a tendency to have an extra relationship, plus there’s this great scar left by him in my heart… Oh my god, I don’t know what to do…

Econ's song of the Moment: Come to My Window

was listening to the mp3's of American idol when i've heard this song... really really like it...

COME TO MY WINDOW

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon
I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this love anyway
Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon


Thursday, June 03, 2004

Meeting with my ex...

Yesterday, I was just malling in Robinson's Place just malling around looking for a pair of a white collared shirt when I saw my ex beau... I was just looking at the new clothes in hang ten when I saw him walk into the store... and he saw me too... Pleasantries were exchanged and I asked him why he's in the area... he said that he's gonna be buying a new pair of pants... So, we sort of looked around the store together until we have both made our purchases and he sort of asked me to eat with me in Kenny Rogers and talk... Well, I agreed and we ate together... The whole time, I was being nervous because I don't know whether someone we knew might recognize us... We chatted for 3 hours, updates on our lives, and just sort of reminiscing the good times we have been together... and he made me smile a lot... and made me forgot about all the underlying tensions that I have been experiencing with all the Elwyn brouhaha... and I accepted his gift of friendship...

Looking back, I'm torn about him and elwyn... oh god... let me sort out my emotions... I know that I'm being tested as of the moment.... let me pass this test...




guess.my.number (1 - 100)






  • 01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004
  • 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
  • 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
  • 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
  • 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
  • 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
  • 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
  • 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
  • 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
  • 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
  • 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
  • 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
  • 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
  • 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
  • 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
  • 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
  • 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
  • 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
  • 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
  • 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
  • 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
  • 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
  • 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
  • 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006