ECONSPACE

Friday, February 27, 2004

Frumpy Friday

I feel funny and frumpy at the same time. Weather is currently ok, am currently in the front of my PC in our house. My body is aching due to the fact that I've slept 2 hours straight in the Library. Man, i feel like all of my joints are aching, and I feel like muscular atrophy has already set in and I had a difficult time walking. Worst of all, i feel like I've slept with my mouth open. eeeeeewwww !!

Richard Hatch, the Gay Sole Survivor of Survivor:Pulau Tiga was voted off in the 5th Episode of Survivor All-Stars. I think it's a sad thing for me because I really like Richard's self-confidence and attitude. He's such a spunky fellow. I think I should have change my attitude from being such a passive fellow who just keeps in his mind his screw the rules attitude into being a more active fellow. Hey, that doesn't necessarily mean that I would turn into being a bitchy fag... hehehe... more aggressiveness, more ruthlessness... hahaha..

Tomorrow, I would join my classmates and our Professor to a field trip... yuck.. i would not use the field-trip rather i would use the term out of the classroom experience. ching !!! hahaha... we're gonna be visiting the San Agustin Church in Intramuros and the UP Chapel in Diliman. I'm quite looking forward in this experience because of the fact that there's so much to learn and to appreciate with our culture. We'll gonna be looking deeper in the architecture, sculpture, painting and the visual elements that are found in such repositories of culture. hehehe... plus, it's time to charm my cute classmate who is a PLU, I think. hehehe... fact of the matter is, he's already asked me to ride with him in his car... hahaha.. go henry go !!!

I'm currently looking at the programs that are installed in my computer and I've seen the MIRC... curiosity wants me to open up the program so as to provide me with an avenue to pick up other guys(sounds like i'm a hooker here)... but, i've quickly negated the idea. I don't think I'm gonna be forced to chatting again, looking for seb's and one night stands or fuck-ners. I think I've progressed beyond the point. There's always something more that life has to offer besides temporary satiation of the flesh. In fact, there are so many times during my pre-relationship days that I've viewed myself as dirty and worthless due of this one-night and sometimes one-day stands... If ever I'm gonna open it again, it would be as a means of broadening my network and my channel of friends.

I'm currently listening to my song of the moment. it's broken vow by lara fabian... yeah.. it's the song from the freaking meteor garden series.. but i really can relate to it at the moment. marlon is still here in my heart. The whole sunday afternoon, I've heard his voice again asking me to come back to him. Am tempted to.. but it ain't gonna be today. I think i've suffered enough emotional and battle scars, thank you. In fact marlon, you've almost made me kill myself by making me contemplate on the nicest way of killing my whole life. and for that, I can't forgive you. I remember the line from The Bride in Kill Bill volume 1, it goes a little something like It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality.

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Those odders who are watchers of SIAM are currently airing their sides. I really think that the show is loosing its appeal already. Nothing could compare to the 1st batch... i really like them all... as some parting words for them, I'm gonna list them all, as a parting hurrah for them...

Christian Bautista. The Romantic Balladeer. A Josh-Groban type of singer and he'll blow you away with his renditions of tenor songs such as To Where you are and Broken Vow. Also, a good-looker. Drawback is poor dancing skills if ever he possessed any. currently, he's the guy in the video of NIna's latest song, A Girl Could Dream...

GAYLE DIZON. The Soul Sensation. The enchanting little lady with the voice worthy of comparison with such talented r&b foreign acts such as Ashanti, Nivea and ALicia Keys. She really has mastered the r&b genre and it's such refreshing to hear her version of the ballad "Ikaw Lamang" done in a new manner. I've seen her last Sunday and she really is a great gal. She is currently active with her own bad and alternating with her choir singing...

Czarina Rosales. The Alluring Siren. She's that tall morena looker with that dry and husky voice. I really like her interpretation of Underneath Your Clothes by Shakira and If I Didn't Love You. I feel kinda sad for her coz she was the 1st boot.

Marinel Santos. The Next Concert DIva. Her voice is the proper mix. It's like hearing Lani Misalucha and Christina Aguilera singing at the same time. She has this clear mastery of the low notes and breathing gymnastics. She also has this spunky and fighter attitude which really attracted me to her. Last seen her last Tuesday when she openned up for MTB.

Michell San Miguel. The Singing Sweetheart. A looker.Her voice is really thin and is definitely unique. Kinda refreshing to hear too but it's kinda annoying when she reaches up for the high notes. Love her interpretation of In My Life.

DK Tijam. The R&B Heart rob. Good looking and has a conio feel in him. His r&b style is somewhat different because he relies heavily in the breathing exhalations that it sometimes tend to cover the whole song. He's currently doing gigs with his band Accoustic Soul (?) and he's a regular performer in some of the comedy bars

Teresa GArcia. The Captivating Supermodel. MAny don't like her but i really like her. I would call her a diva, diva-attitude... hehehe.. Her voice is a clear alto and I really like her intelligence and being savvy and classy... Love her interpretation of "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" and "tila". She's currently doing commercials. Seen her last Sunday

Sheryn Regis. The Power Belter. She'll blow you away with her high voice. I'm quite curious as to where does her powerful voice comes from. She'll blow you away with her performance of "Through The Fire" and "Come On IN OUt Of the Rain". She's currently the most popular in the batch because filipinos really dig divas and those girls with high voices. Seen her last Sunday

Johann Escanan. The Passionate Performer. His falsetto is so clear and it's full. He has the nicest voice among the male competitors but his attitude simply did him in. He's too timid. Loved his rendition of "Heaven Knows". seen him last Sunday.

Erik Santos. The Star on the Rise. He's cute, he's got the voice, the total package of a star, hence he won the plum via a controversial decision over the crowd favorite Sheryn. Loved his rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly" and "Kailangan Kita". currently, he's doing hosting stints in ASAP

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i just found out that one of my friends, JOms, has already has his blog site. i've linked him to mine. aaaah... the odders are all writers...

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Femme Names and a Triumphant Thursday

If ever I was born a female, I would like to have the name Helene Gwyneth. I don't know but I really am attracted to those two names. I think the name Helene cames from the Greek or Classical World. It's the term used by the Greeks to refer to their own people. Even the modern-day Republic of Greece goes on by the official name of the "Hellenic Republic". The name Gwyneth has a Celtic/Anglo-Saxon history in it. I'm just fascinated by names. I'm a names person. I usually recall and know the person by their names.. oh well...

anyway, here's the updated list of the femme names of the odders

Henry aka Econ_major: Henrietta
Joms aka Tripnautic: Jennifer
James aka Garppp: Jemaima
Doc rommel aka Mrav: Melinda
Dennis aka Goonie: Dennisse
Dennis aka benchboy: Donnah
Zeki aka Jagard: Zenny
Francis aka Boccelli: Francine
PJ aka liquid_dreamer: Persephone or Pia
Stan aka bruder_john: Stephanie
Bryan aka kugel: Britney
Christopher aka kahlee: Christine
Christopher aka Fyro: Charmaine
JR aka tennister: Joanna Reigne
nathan aka 3than: Natasha
Sonny aka Ajman: Sonia
Rc aka RCCOLa: Becky
Jonas aka Will_t: Jhonabelle
Carlo aka mango79: Carlotta
Marvin aka Kirsch: Marivic
Glendel aka ledneg: Glenda
Paul aka Stolich: Paula
Arjae aka d_alchemist: Arianna

seems to me that the femme names of odders are so diversified. There are some LAtin sounding names and a mixture of English female names. I think the most unique is that of James. his femme name really sounds like a german one.

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I'm mighty triumphant today. Today, the test results were passed around and I got some decent scores and even managed to score the highest in my RELSFOR class. I even managed to talk and chat decently with my ex-beau. The feeling is still there, but i think it has become more and more subdued as time passes by. Tomorrow will be the return of the answer sheets for FIlipi1 and GUICOEd. aaah... hope that it will all be again in my favor...

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I'm currently reading a book entitled "The FirstWives Club". It talks about how does three ageing and the 1st wives of known businessmen, ad executive and a lawyer has tried to regain and recapture their lost honor and lost pride via avenging themselves through their own wit and ingenuity. I just laugh at the major scenes. I've heard that there's a film of it and I'm gonna borrow it later for me to watch it. It's from this movie that the memorable quote "Remember, don't get mad, get everything"...

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Swedish
Ah, I vudd suggester SWEDISH as jor langvedge to
spiek.


What language are you supposed to speak?
brought to you by Quizilla

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I'm seeing the sunlight and it's beckoning me to go to the place where happiness reigns supreme... The storm has passed and I have survived and braved the odds. I really am a Survivor !

Wednesday Solitude

I've never felt so lonely and depressed in my whole life. Yesterday was one of the most fucking and sad days of my whole existence in this world. It made me wanna commit suicide again. But, I don't want to die at a young age. I want to experience life.

I got home around 4, Wednesday morning. I really felt depressed and in a not so good mood after the ODDERS self-destruct contingent. Most of the night I have been aloof and somewhat gazing off to nowhere. Maybe, it's because that I did not self-destructed myself in front of them or maybe it's due to other reasons which I can't comprehend but I feel sadder yet somehow more enlightened about my relationship with Marlon. JOms and Joseph(Joseph Pc/ninoanino) and prof. dennis have all put their insights over the matter. I promise myself this one thing which I will try to live: I won't cry over a guy again. My relationship with Marlon has already reached an end. I do still have feelings for him but the pain of fooling behind my back and letting himself caught by the people I know really severed the trust which I always value in a relationship. It broke my heart into a million pieces. I'm willing to give him the chance but I don't think I could jump into another relationship again...

After I've gotten home, I just dropped into my bed and slept the whole morning. Woke up around 12 noon when my sister brought me some brunch. Over fried rice, sausages and coffee, I began to contemplate on how should I face life again. I just put all the things that Marlon has given me under a loose floorboard under my bed. Pictures of us, the John Grisham books, the letters and correspondences were all buried under my bed. It's too unpractical to throw it away and still I value them, they are all part of a past which is a part of my being. The whole day yesterday, I just spent the whole time moping around and just trying to bring back the positive memories that each gift has. Finally, I managed to smile.

After I've reminisced, I just went to the nearest and most accessible mall within my reach, which is Robinson's Place and watched The Runaway Jury which stars John Cussack, Rachel Weiss and Dustin Hoffman. It's based on a John Grisham book and revolves around a member of a jury named Nicholas Easter and how does he slyly and cleverly turn the whole jury's decision in favor for the plaintiff. Kinda liked it. After that, I've just sort of dropped into the arcades section and played Tekken 4. played using Christie Monteiro(a Capoeira fighter) and Nina Williams (Bone Aikido technique). Managed to get to the final round but I just lost steam and focus and Heihachi Mishima just finished me off...

Around 8, i'm again sitting in my room just trying to think what the fuck to do next... Just finished my article for my Philohi class and it's kinda enlightening but I don't want to drift to sleep and be bothered again. Out of sheer boredom, I raided the refrigerator and such a blessing from above, there's a bottle of MOMPO mass wine. this wine is the one being drank by the priests during masses. I drank the whole bottle... hahaha... It tastes sweet.. and It's not intoxicating...

Woke up in a good mood today. I'm gonna see Marlon again for my RELSFOR class. Attitude: aloof, I won't initiate a talk to him. I've had enough. just play cool. be ice cool... I don't want to lose my composure in school, hence i'll have ice water injected in my veins. =) ... i'd just think that Marlon isn't man enough for me... hehehe...

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Post-Traumatic Tuesday

I feel so bad today. I am lethargic. I AM PAIN. I'm not painful, but i am pain itself.

damn... i can't stop myself from crying... the pain of heartbreak really sucks me up and clings to my inner psyche. i've spend the whole night yesterday crying, and crying while rereading my Philosophy of History Articles. I've stayed up the whole night just trying to comprehend what the article is saying despite the tears that are flowing in my face. Every song in the radio seems to remind me of him. every something in my room has his identity imprinted on them. and i'm feeling lonely. i still feel for him, i still picture him as the man of my dreams. but i don't trust his angelic face anymore...

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Monday is Charmed night and the episode was a replay of the pilot episode of Charmed. it's entitled "something Wicca this way comes" and it still casts the original Power of Three namely Shannen Doherty(Prue), Holly Marie Combs(Piper) and Alyssa Milano (Phoebe). I remember this episode quite vividly because of the fact that Charmed has been the staple of my crummy social life in high school. i still remember i was in the 3rd year when i've first seen this show. from then on, the tv is glued at studio 23 every monday nights and every Wednesday nights on star world. time flies quite quickly...

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currently done with the fucking test from hell for my Philosophy of History test. I don't think I did badly though I could say that it's not my best performance... but i do have a lot of emotional baggages so I could really say that I'm performing at the optimum level.... be gonna be having my RELSFOR midterms later... hope Marlon shows up... i want to trash-talk him, but he still continues to tug my heart.... really hope that I'll be able to join the ODDERs later...

Monday, February 23, 2004

Aftermath of a Tempest-filled Weekend.

My weekend is a disaster ! Never have I suffered so much pain and distress in my life. I broke up with MArlon. The deep, nagging feeling which I have been feeling the past week has finally been confirmed. He's been fucking with another guy. I don't know what I should feel when my best friend, Shella has seen the two of them in SM North doing PDA. I rushed from Cavite to SM NOrth, asking my cousin to bite the bullet and dodge the cars for me to see if it is true. And, what a sight did I saw ! that freaking bitchy gay fag is carressing the biceps of my man, and it seems that he's enjoying it. I could not take the sight and I confronted him and broke up with him on the spot. The whole Saturday evening is a wreck for me. I have to attend a close friend's debut party and the whole time I managed to have a straight face. Eventually when the waiters started serving alcoholic beverages, I drowned myself in the alcohol. I was pretty much intoxicated yet i'm not drunk. Asked cousin to drive me home where I've spent the whole night crying and crying and crying and venting out my anger. Damn it hurts so much because I know that I've given up a lot for the relationship to become a strong one. i've given up a lot, the transcendent One knows how much I love him.

Why is breaking up feels so hard on you? I GAVE HIM EVERYTHING !!!

Sunday:

Sunday, thoughts of suicide entered my mind. i wanted to end my life. I had a plan of jumping from the 6th floor of yuchengco but I did not want to end my life. Marlon called asking for us to have a talk and I just dropped the phone. Starting from 11:00 up to 5:00, I've been in the mall just venting out my anger in the hapless opponents. I've tried Marvel vs. Capcom 2 again and I was amazed at how profficient my all-girl squad of Psylocke, Cammy and Morrigan is. I even managed to defeat combinations of such powerful opponents and aerial ravers such as Sentinel, Iceman, Magneto and Cable until I finally succumbed to the team of Psylocke, Magneto and Guile. I think I lost because Morrigan's attacks were foiled. Good thing I've managed to defeat the group with a combination of Iceman, Psylocke and Cable. hahaha. Then i've shifted to Capcom vs. SNK where my triumphant team of Mai-Cammy and King and my second team Morrigan-Cammy-King proved too much for the pretenders. At around 4:00, i was about to go home when I've seen this banner that some of the SIAM finalists would be performing there. Luckily, I've stucked because four of the SIAM finalists are there. Seen Teresa, Sheryn, Johann and my fave and PJ's favorite GAYLE DIZON. was so freaking happy that I've bought another SIAM cd so that they could sign it. Teresa did a good interpretation of "Bukas na Lang Kita Mamahalin", Gayle sang "I can't tell you why", Johann interpreted "You" while Sheryn belted out "Come On In Out of the Rain". Also, 17:28, Josh Santana and the beautiful Aliya Parcs sang. 17:28 sang "Last Love Song", Josh sang "Maibabalik ko ba" while Aliya really looked so hot and cute while singing "Stop Think". aaah...

Henry, you should stop and think about all the things you've done in life...

Random thought: I still love Marlon despite the whole debacle and that he's fucking behind my back. Could i love but do not trust? is it possible that you love someone without trusting him?

Chatted with Jonas and Rc and Bryan too. was quite happy for a while and watched Survivor All Stars where I watched Rob Cesternino got booted out of the Chapera tribe. aaaah too bad. i really like him...

Monday: I'm gonna have 2(yes two freaking exams) tomorrow.. It's currently in the heat of the mid-term week and I've gotta impress them again with my amazing abilities. The pain of separation and betrayal is slowly fading. I wanna give him another chance but he's gotta have to start courting me again and change for the better otherwise, it's the end of econmajor's and beau's chapter on my book of life. the day is ho-hum. it rains outside. and inside my heart it's flooding, flooding with both yearning and hatred for this guy. How could a person give you so much pain and pleasure at the same time. tsk. tsk. tsk.

I'm currently listening to the song of Michael Bolton. It's entitled "go the distance". It has been reinterpreted by both Sheryn and Regine. The song is so positive and endearing. It kinda helps me stay positive. here goes the song....

Go the Distance

I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

Friday, February 20, 2004

Long Weekend and Wednesday contingent

It's an amazing thing that I've forgotten to chronicle the things that transpired last Wednesday night. The Odders have held two consecutive contingents in James place. I've arrived at Boni avenue around 8:20 and bought a Slurpee, one of the few things which I can't live without. And I walked and walked and walked. There are lots of people already there when I've arrived. There are the two Dennis, James, Sonny, Rc, Arjae, Bryan, Carlo and a newbie, Tennister aka Jr. Others came filtering too such as Doc rommel, Joms, PJ, Roy and the hot property fyro, aka christopher. Man, it seemed like a club there. First, we've listened to R&b tracks, then the music shifted to the divas singing then turned to club beats and remixes. all of the odders either gyrated, socialized or sang during the whole time. Carlo is a revelation. He's a good dancer.he also had a problem with his mom which i think the odders have contributed a lot in giving him the advices which I think he needs.

What really cracked me up the whole night is the list of our feminine alter-ego nicks... here's the list:

Henry aka Econ_major: Henrietta
Joms aka Tripnautic: Jennifer
James aka Garppp: Jemaima
Doc rommel aka Mrav: Melinda
Dennis aka Goonie: Dennisse
Dennis aka benchboy: Donnah
Zeki aka Jagard: Zenny
Francis aka Boccelli: Francine
PJ aka liquid_dreamer: Persephone or Pia
Stan aka bruder_john: Stephanie
Bryan aka kugel: Britney
Christopher aka kahlee: Christine
Christopher aka Fyro: Charmaine
JR aka tennister: Joanna Reigne
nathan aka 3than: Natasha
Sonny aka Ajman: Sonia
Rc aka RCCOLa: Becky
Jonas aka Will_t: Jhonabelle
Carlo aka mango79: Carlotta

there are other odders whom female nicks i don't know such as Arjae aka d_alchemist, Marvin aka Kirsch, Glendel aka ledneg, Paul aka Stolich, Jio aka catchmeifucan, Jannsenn aka village_voice and Kenzo aka Kenzo...


I'm gonna go to Cavite later because I'm gonna help my uncle in creating a "sentimental" message for Hygeia, one of my friends whose gonna turn 18 tomorrow. probably be back sunday..., thus making me ineligible to attend the contingents. aaah too bad...

I feel like I'm so mired. Mired, tired, Subdued, Lethargic. That's some of the few adjectives which aptly describes my condition and what I'm currently feeling as of the moment. MY body is so tired, I walk so slow, even the way i type in the keyboard reflects the tiredness that I'm feeling. But the funny thing is that my mind seems to be working overtime. My body is lethargic yet my mind is active. Funny, funny thing... how to balance active mind vs. lethargic body... hehehehe...

I really don't like what's happenning with my relationship with MArlon. Yesterday, while talking to him over the phone, he keeps on putting me off the phone, asking me to call him later or meet with him tomorrow or even swing by his pad. I get this nasty feeling that he's cheating on me. I don't know if he's fooling with charisse already. But, fooling with charisse would be ok for me just as long as he is not fooling with another guy.

He again made some references to us participating in an orgy. I think he has participated in one already. I know this for a fact that during the 1st weeks of february, he keeps on getting some texts from a guy named chubi or something, asking him to come down by his pad "again". Through sentence analysis, it could be inferred that Marlon has already done it with another. and he felt happy about it. That's one of the main reasons why I don't want to see him as of the moment. I feel afraid that if I confronted him, all hell would break loose for the two of us. I feel like my anger is building up. I'm getting frustrated with him. I keep questioning myself what things did I not give him. I gave him all... i feel like despairing... hopefully, the situation over the weekend would change...

Thursday, February 19, 2004

things to do..., and potential problemo

I've got some important things to do for my mid-terms. A paper in Cultural History regarding the Art exhibit which is housed at the Yuchengco Building. Good thing that I do have the book of my teacher and it's up to me to just elaborate and make my essay a thought-provoking one.

I feel like my man has certain priorities all mixed up. There are so many things about him which I can't understand. One particular thing which I don't like about him is the mere fact that he does not want to go out with me and meet my fellow odders. I can't seem to find the logic behind why he is scared and afraid of meeting my friends when he in fact decided for me to finally make myself available at the contingents. He was the one who supported me to finally join the group, yet here he is "afraid" of meeting other PLU guys who are such a great bunch. The ironic thing too is that when it comes to being invited by his friends in engineering, he would readily agree to join them, even leaving me in the process just to satisfy his friends. I feel like I'm in an invisible battle with him.

Second thing which I don't understand about him is that he is so addicted to sex. I mean, having sex is really fun. it burns up a lot of calories, uses a lot of energy but my god, having sex almost everyday is like hell. sure, there's the fun and stimulation part but the problem is that he can't seem to get enough of it. I don;t know where he gets the extra energy but it sure is draining mine. The problem is that I just can't say no to him. I just go with him and get over it.

Last thing which i would like to rant about is the fact that his love seems to be waning as each day passes by. He isn't that sweet as he used to. Eventhough he was sweet as hell last weekend, there's something that makes me go all wiggins... something that's buzzing me that as each day passes by, the higher the tendency for him to completely leave me.

I don't know what to do. I've swallowed my pride. I've done everything I could. I fought every possible problem and hurdled every obstacle that seems to be standing in preventing to keep the relationship alive. I feel that the relationship is dying... I really, really hope that everything will turn out the better for both us, but there's this seed of doubt which is planted within me, telling me that I should abandon ship before the heartbreak sets in....

oh god... i feel so melancholic today... be running in a coupla minutes for my PHILSPA class. ....... oh well.....


Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Tuesday contingent and aftermath

Yesterday is one of the best times of my life. After I've bid goodbye to my baby boy Marlon, I went to the library so as to continue reading on the subject of Philosophy of History. Frankly speaking, I did not liked the subject at first mainly because of the fact that I despise the teacher teaching it, and I was a bit kinda mad at him because his discussions are too shallow. I like to think that knowing the basics of the existence of your future discipline and all the hassles and glory of it should be handled with utmost discussion plus, it should be deep and though-provoking. I would like to major in this branch of history.... hehehe.. and borrowed a book of Philosophy of History. I've also changed the template of my blog and added links... will try to tinker more on my blog

Left the DLSU area around 7:45 p.m. Took the LRT ride and the MRT ride. I feel like I'm doing an Amazing Race again. I don't know but when I arrive at the terminal of the MRT, i feel like i'm one of the contestants in the Amazing Race... a sign that I'm watching a bit too much of reality shows.. get off at the mrt station of boni avenue, walked towards PAragon Plaza... and alighted at the 38th floor and went to James' loft. Arriving there at 8:30, i found out that most of the Odders are there. Besides the owner of the place, James, Nathan, Dennis, Paul, Doc Rommel, Arjae, Jio, and my batchmate Stan are already there. I'm so happy that my batchmate Estanley is already there. Due to the fact that I don't eat dinners except on special occassions, I have to endure being tempted by the pizza and chicken and mojos, but what the heck, am on a diet. it's like loading ur body with too much carbo... (i think i'm just bitter.. hahaha).

Watched the 1st half of the movie, Milan. i'm not a fan of the movie but what the heck, I just kinda viewed the scenery and architectural marvels of one of the most beautiful and oldest cities in the world. Milan, aaah.. would love to visit it but the City of Canals Venice and the Eternal City of Rome rank higher in my priorities, if ever i get the chance to go on tripping..

Several people drifted in and added more fun to the contingent. PJ, Joms, and Marvin all came in and joined in the fun... conversations turned into being wacky, to all medical, to STAR in A MILLIOn and the 0.0 and a gazillion other things...

btw, I was "stanned" by the STan man himself !!! hahahaha...

i also sampled drinking vodka as brought by the Alcoholic man, Stolich... it really tastes so smooth... and the smell of cinnamon is so...oh wel... and also drank 2 glasses of gin, hence I have again symptoms of allergy caused by my drinking... aaaaah.. but alcohol is life...at least once in a while

also, an agenda was proposed yesterday.. we, the ODDERS, are gonna be joining in an outreach program for the marginalized poor people. We think of giving coloring books, crayons and other educational and recreational stuff to the poor people. aaaah... I'm gonna contribute on this coz it's such a noble cause.

I've attended classes today. Despite the fact that I've got only 3 hours of sleep, I did not have trouble picking up in the lessons... Midterms is here and it's time for a crunch... and I'm gonna crunch. Eaten lunch with Marlon... I'm beginning to be troubled again by him... good things, Joms had made payo to me already....

Yesterday's night is so fun... and i think it's gonna be repeated tonight... on we go to the wednesday contingent.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Feb 15..

it's been a good day for me. I feel that this is one of the most productive days in my life.

Last post is yesterday around 8. Failed to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer yesterday due to the fact that I'm reading PHILOHI articles. damn these articles, anyway, they are enlightening. It made me think about the possible pitfalls of history. History has been one of the main points of my life. A friend from high school said that HENRY = HISTORY, mainly because of the fact that I'm the only one in the batch who is so completely enamored with history.

Why I Like History. History is full of famous and infamous personalities, events and locales, and it's like all the factors are enmeshed with each other that they create and affected what transpired in the past. History in a way, is like knowing more and more about the race that you are in. It's like knowing the basic things among your body... it's just a pity that most History teachers are boring or downright mean, they just scare those students and give history a bad name, which should not be the case.

Charmed is replay... ho-hum... but on the other hand, i like this episode. Phoebe (Alyssa Milano) really cracks me up. "There's no door love cannot open, no wall love can't climb, no hurdle love can't......errr... hurdle... " hahaha... that line cracks me up big time, but it's so true.

I've spend the night reading articles, highlighting it, and preparing the questions. The problem is, i don't know which articles will gonna be discussed in the class. To ever play the safe side, I read all 4 articles so as not to be blindsided by my ever devious professor. listened and sang with the radio.

I woke up today around 6... whew... just a few hours of sleep... drank a mug of coffee, with about 2 spoonfulls of nescafe and just 4 spoonfulls of sugar... read again and read... today's radio tabloid is so fucking sad... it's like a scene from a nicholas sparks novel... aaaah.. here's the radio tabloid thingie

Hi Radio Gods! Good morning. Thank you for choosing my letter to be a part of your daily morning tabloid. I’m AYEN, a graduating student in one of the reputable schools here in the Philippines. What I’m going to share to you is my painful and most unforgettable experience, which I had 5 months ago. I know what I’m feeling now will not be easily cured by anything or anybody. But I just don’t know why this has to happen. I just hope this letter will be a big help to other people especially to those who are afraid to express their feelings to their loved ones and to those who just let love pass by. To give you a background about my life, everything seems to be perfect except when this guy cameinto my life. He’s my classmate and best friend in high school. We’re super close that if I’m not only a girl, maybe he’ll let me do the things that other boys like him usually do. We’re on our third year when we discovered that we have feelings for each other but we just kept it inside our selves. Month of February came, there’s a JS PROM, some of my guy classmates and friends already asked me if I can be their date, but I’m reserving myself for someone special, so I rejected them even the cutest guy in the campus. Not to mention that I’m one of the school’s pride. I was in my room two days before the said event, taking some rest after having a busy day in school. “Why he’s not asking me yet? WHY? WHY? WHY?”, I said to my self, I was in that situation when the doorbell rang and after a few seconds my sister came to my room and said that my best friend, JOEY, was outside waiting for me. I was surprised! I don’t know why he has to visit me this late, so I came out of my room and headed straight to our terrace where he’s there waiting while sitting on his scooter. I ask for he’s reason for visiting me this late, he said he just want to see my dress for the prom. Of course, to give him a little suspense, I refuse to show it. But it didn’t become a reason for him to still ask me if I can be his date, and HE DID! That night, I can’t sleep, I kept on thinking about JOEY, maybe I’m just excited about our PROM. The night of my life came, my mom said that I look so pretty but I didn’t believe her since she’s my mom, until I heard it from JOEY’s mouth. “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met”, he whispered to my ears as we bid goodbye to my parents. We enjoyed that night and I’ve proven to my self that I really love my best friend. Nothing has changed between us after that night, until another JS PROM came and he’s my date again. My friends and classmates sometimes misunderstood the friendship that we have, but life’s like that. Nobody wants to reveal the truth so all we have to do is to go with the flow. After two years of being together, our graduation day came. But the night before that, he called and we talked like it would be the last moment that we’ll be together and will hear each other’s voice. I’ve waited for the moment that he’ll confess his true feelings for me and it happened. He asked me if there’s a possibility that the two if us could share a special relationship, which is more than best friends. But I let the opportunity pass me by, by telling him that it’s impossible since we’re best friends and maybe our own children can continue the path that we have started. I don’t know why I said those words despite of what I really feel for him. Maybe I’m just afraid coz I was still young. I was really stupid. VERY STUPID! But there’s nothing I could do, I’ve said it and it’s final. We graduated and we’re now both in college. I feel so proud that I was able to study in a good school and surprisingly, he’s on that school, too. YES, JOEY and I will share another school again, but this time, he’s not my classmate coz he decided to take Engineering while I’m into Architecture. “Is this a continuation of our unfulfilled love?”, I asked to my self. Well, I guess not, coz after a few months, I had a boyfriend and our relationship lasted for a year and a half. I loved that guy but there are so many problems and conflicts with our relationship that cannot be resolved anymore, so we decided to end it and be good friends. I guess God meant that to happen coz on that same day, I saw my best friend again. We missed eachother so much that we even get closer than before. Now, we go to school together, share lunch at the same time and he even waits for me at night when I have late classes so I could go home safely. I’m happy and contented with that kind of relationship but as day passes by my feelings for that guy grows each and everytime that we are together and it only make me suffer so much coz I love him so much. But I was born to be a great pretender, thou hurting, I continue on showing that what I have for him is pure friendship. One morning, I was in the campus library, very busy preparing my project that should be submitted on that same day. I know he came and was standing on my back, but since I’m really busy and cannot be disturbed coz I want to meet the deadline, I didn’t mind him. He just gave me a letter and asked if I could join him for lunch. I said YES without even looking at him and to his letter. And after hearing my answer he left. Finally I’m done with my project, when I was about to enter the room, somebodybumped me and my precious project fell. As much as I want to burst in anger, there’s nothing I can do. So I just my prof to give me another chance to do my project. My professor got pity on me and gave me another chance. I was about to leave the classroom when I remember my lunch date with my best friend. I grab my cell and tried to send him a message that I can’t make it this afternoon since I have to do my project. But when I was about to send it, “check operator services daw!!!” GRRR…so i tried to look for some friends or other classmates where I could ask for some help, but I never found any. So i took my lunch all by my self, while eating, I remember the letter that JOEY gave me this morning. I searched my bag, my folders, notebooks, but it wasn’t there. I even went back to the corridor where this stupid boy bumped me, hoping and praying that it’s still there but I didn’t even see any piece of paper on the floor. So I lost it. It was the first time that JOEY gave me a letter and it just went nowhere. And so days and weeks passed, everytime we see each other, he’ll just pass me by like someone he never knew. I tried to talk to him coz I know it was all my fault. Months had passed and I heardfrom some friends that he was dating a girl from the same school that we are in. It hurts me a lot to know that I’m not important to him anymore. I’ve been like that for months, suffering from pain and regrets. If only I had given his letter some importance, maybe we’re still together. Sharing special things that other couples usually do. But we’re not a couple, not yet… I can’t fight this kind of feeling any longer. So one sunny morning, I’ve decided that it’s about time for me to lower my pride. We have to talk. So I went to our favorite hang out hoping that I could see him there. But when i was about to get near the place, I saw him…with his girl. I saw the girl crying but I can’t hear what they are talking about. So I’ve decided to get out of that place before my tears burst out and then a common friend told me that the JOEY got the girl pregnant. I want to faint, I guess it’s the saddest news I’ve ever received from a friend. But I keep my composure, I just headed straight home and cry. The night of that same day JOEY came to our house after months of not talking to each other. I thought it was something good for me... for us....but I was wrong.... so wrong.... he gave me a wedding invitation and I’m one of the bridesmaids.... That very moment I want to die. I guess it’s the end for the two of us. As much as I want to tell him that I also love him in order to stop the wedding, I just kept quiet and accepted the invitation with a smile (thou my heart is aching…) And so the wedding came.... “Ganda ko daw” my mom said and since there’s no other person who’ll agree with her this time, I believe her na. At the church while waiting for the wedding to start, one of our professors in school came to see me. He handed over a letter with my name carefully printed on the envelope. He said that he looked for the owner of that letter but since our school was so big, he decided to keep it hoping that one day, he’ll get the chance to give it to the right person. And he saw my name on the invitation, he decided to bring the letter thinking that it could save souls... (DAW!) I was about to open the letter when the priest asks if there’s somebody who wants to oppose, I just kept quiet. I don’t want to ruin a special day. While the ceremony is going on, I read the letter. He opened up his feelings for me. Hoping that I also have feelings for him. He asked that if I’ll show up to our hang-out the next day after I finished reading his letter, then it means that I also have feelings for him and that he would love me for the rest of our lives.... but if I wont.... thenhe will never open that topic again.... he pleaded for me to come…. If only I have that letter.... if only I knew about it.... if I’m not too clumsy and careless to keep that letter... things would be different.... if only.... These are the thoughts that I have in mind as the wedding continues… And so I heard the priest announced the couple as husband and wife....a tear fell from my eyes… I can’t breathe… It’s tearing me up inside… Picture taking and as much as I want to cry, I decided not to. I controlled my emotion and just smile… I’m a great pretender remember? After the picture taking, my best friend came to me and hugged me…very tight… And in teary-eyed he said, “I still love you....” Radio Gods, until now I’m still blaming my self for everything. It was really my fault. 5 months had passed and I don’t know how long will I keep this.. Thank you and more power.

was late in class... eventhough i ran from estrada street up to the 3rd floor of Joseph. good thing, prof. did not discussed anything while I'm not there. Made a DIVA entrance hahaha... more like a harried and frazzled, frustrated student late... oooh.. i so love the article discussion... then attended to a not-so-enlightening seminar...then relsfor and then another hot activity... good thing there are some eng boys, Charles and Jefferson who swung by the pad later, otherwise, I would not be able to escape from the clutches of Marlon.... aaaah... will join the odders in james pad later.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Lovapalooza, Valentine's day, post valentine's day, MOnday post

It has been so long since I've posted something in my blog... that means that I haven't touched my pc for some time now... It really is weird because this is one of the longest times since I've not touched my own pc at the privacy of my room... damn, i miss my pc... ok on with the story..

So where are we, I think I've narrated the UP fairster activity and my thursday thingie so I'm gonna narrate what happened the whole weekend starting friday. Friday is the Lovapalooza thingie and there's gonna be a contingent in Malate that day so since I live near the area, I'm gonna join the odders. Sadly, much as I want to introduce my beau to them, that evil Charisse has to spoil my pre-Valentine's day... On a happier note, I was serenaded by the Chamber Ensemble last Friday where they played "Ikaw Lamang" and i was so enamored because it was my baby boy MArlon who made the whole serenade thingie work-out... i even received a box of chocolates from the Ensemble...

Random Thought: WHy is Valentine's Day a widely-commercialized event ??? ON we go with the story...

Around 5:00, I departed for the rendezvous place, Rob PLace MAnila at the Starbucks branch there. Being a true-blooded Manileno, i decided to go early so that I would have time to go whipping some butt in the arcades section. While playing Capcom vs. SNK, somebody challenged me to a duel... sure, whatever, I'm gonna kick your ass, but the thing is he's a good player too. My current line-up is Mai, King and Cammy while his line-up is Blanka, Guile and King. MAN, I felt scared because his Guile has defeated both my Mai and King which placed me into a very dangerous position because of the mere fact that Cammy is just a tier-one character ratio and she has no projectiles so as to made the enemies keep away... Good thing, I capitalized on his flopped Summersaults and cannon drilled and rocket spiked his sorry ass... I just so love this British babe of mine, Cammy....

Around 7:00, i went to a cafe and decided to open my mail. I was kinda surprised to see that benchboy aka dennis is already in the area so i hurriedly responded to him via the ym for us to meet. I like dennis' quirky and somewhat wacky sense of humor...

Around 8:30, we decided to meet at starbuck's and we immediately caught up with Nathan, Sonny and a new guy, Daniel. in fairness to him, he's a cutie. in fact, if I don't have a MArlon, i would have flirted to death with him... bad me... bad henry but on with the story, the group decided to eat a late dinner at Popeye's. James caught up with us on the way up and conversation turned to different matters. Rommel joined us about 10 minutes later... and typical conversations passed...I'm dying of thirst so I went up to get a tumbler of Coke LIght(due to diet) but the line and the slow service of the crew has already killed me... If not for the fact that I'm really dying of thirst, I would have raised hell and have their scalps as my prize... inept service crew...

Around 9:40 the group decided to go to the Lovapalooza thingie which is currently happenning in MAlate. What's the LOVAPALOOZA ? the LOvapalooza event is an event cooked up by close-Up. The thing is, they want to congregate as many couples, despite the genders (good thing), to an area so as to earn us a spot in the GUiness book of World Record as the place where the largest number of people kissed. Previous record was set by CHile. And I'm sure the Philippines could beat that and we sure did.

But, there is a negative side to the whole event. THE EVENT CAUSED A TRAFFIC IN THE CELL NETWORKS AND THE WHOLE PLACE IS FULL OF FREAKING PEOPLE WHO JUST WANTED TO GO AND EXPERIENCE THE EVENT. oh well, sadly, the group did not joined in the festivities because of the mere fact that the atmosphere of so many people are nauseating so we decided to head towards MALATE, the party district. We camped outside GYPSY BAR along Nakpil and just passed time telling stories and trying to catch up with each other's lives. Glendel also joined along with Kugel and his friend. while sitting there eating squid balls and drinking beer along the streets, I saw several LaSallistas whom I know and I'm sure they saw me too but what the heck, screw them. They don't control my life. hahaha. screw !!! screw !!!

While we are in nakpil, Roy came and the group become festive again with his antics. Also, JOms and Tholitz and Arjae came in and dropped by and said hello. It was a first experience for me since I've had PLU friends to share my VAlentine's with... aaaah... Econ turns mushy...

We soon transferred to the street which contains Red Ban and we just gawked and laughed at the slut dancing... so what, I'm not impressed with you. youre funny as hell girl...

After that the group just decided to quite down and have a breakfast at Hap chian... and i headed off for my house at around 5:00... but by the time I've arrived there, I just grabbed the ingredients for my dinner with Marlon, grab the keys to his condo and jotted down a note to my family explaining where I'm gonna stay and trooped off to Vito Cruz...

By the time I've reached Marlon's apartment, I'm so goddamn sleepy that I did not noticed that MArlon is already there. and he'd let me sleep till 12 noon... woe me... how could i cook dinner for him... good thing is, he bought lunch and we ate together, even spoonfeeding each other... then, the whole afternoon, I have to labor to work on my specialties. The things that I'm gonna cook:

1.) Lumpiang Shanghai
2.) Siomai
3.) Spaghetti with Meat Sauce
4.) Deep-fried chicken

Luckily, my beau helped me in the cutting and boiling and steaming parts that the whole afternoon went by and i even finished early. By around 5:30, i'm already sitted with him in our love sofa waiting for Star in A Million where we were astonished by the 0.0 score that was given to a contestant. I think it's too harsh... anyway, my beau has a surprise for me, He bought a bottle of Carlo Rossi, a heart-shaped container of Ferrero Rocher and a chocolate cake from Red Ribbon.

As for our VAlentine's gift, I've given him jeans from human and a nice shirt... he gave me roses, and a recording of our favorite songs plus a shirt... aaaah sweet

So we ate the feast that I've cooked and i think he liked the taste... or is he faking that... anyway, he sure loved me... we had another more intimate and passionate love-making... oh the chocolate and the wine really did us both in... aphrodisiacs...

After a night of raunchy and wild, passionate should I say love-making, I awakened with him beside me, MAn he really is cute when he's sleeping... How could I thank the transcendent one for blessing me with a guy as sweet as my beau....

I came home to our house around 10 in the evening... what we did the whole sunday morning and afternoon and early evening is really our business thank you... and I'm swamped and I'm just about as ready to collapse and pass out.

MOnday came, and I'm groggy as hell. It turned out that I have 4 articles to read for tomorrow's PHILOHI class and the thing is that each article is roughly 15 pages each... so that means 60 pages of history and discoursing about it.... aaaah i'm stressed... but there's always the night to do that, hence i'm sitting here. My beau is currently beside me and he's urging me to do it again with him, Maybe I'd say no to him... or maybe i should say yes? i'm currently munching a bar of sneakers almond just to power me up... good luck to me...

Thursday, February 12, 2004

UP FAir thingie and aftermath

Yesterday night, I joined the Odders in one of our weekly contingent.. the destination yesterday and the agenda is the UP Fair. I feel like I'm in an Amazing Race episode yesterday because basically, this guy does not know how to commute. With a limited money supply due to a lost 500 peso bill in the FX, this fellow has to ride the jeepney and commute via the mrt towards a place which i don't know SM North Edsa. The experience is quite exhilirating. met a cutie guy and i even called marlon when i've reached EDSA so as to make him calm because he feels like I am not capable of travelling on my own.. screw him, this fellow is street-wise.. hahaha.... I've reached the rendezvous place which is SM North EDSA, the Starbucks branch there. And as usual, following the concept of deadline, I am the first to arrive at the pit stop so to speak using the Amazing Race language. hehehe... as I've ordered my cup of coffee and waited for the other "odders" to come, I was astonished to see someone beckoning me. It turned out to be ajman aka sonny. at first, I did not recognized him because he's not wearing a bonnet and we immediately struck up a conversation regarding philippine art and culture because of the mere fact that I have with me a very voluminous and bulky art book. Around 15 minutes later, Nathan aka 3than drifted in and we waited for the diva DOc ROmmel to join us. SOnny at that time is getting irritated by Doc's tardiness and persuaded us to go to the UP Fair and meet up with Jansenn aka village_voice, James aka garrrp, Marvin aka kirsch, Dennis aka benchboy, Glendel aka ledneg and Bryan aka kugel in the UP fair and text DOc to just drop in the fair when he's there. So, the trio of nate, me and sonny boarded a taxi and off we go the UP Fair which was held in the Sunken Garden.

When we arrived at the place, man it was a riot... the ticket scheming is quite archaic in a way and it was pretty much a chaos. We hooked up first with the group of Jansenn, James, Dennis and Bryan and we finally get at the head of the lines and we immediately walked inside to find a suitable place to camp and maybe pass some time. While inside, we met up with Joms aka Tripnautic and his man lito aka tholitz. We just plopped in the grass as some of the odders ate while some of us including me began engaging in conversations. I struck up a conversation with Jansenn and Joms where we began deliberating on some issues and stuffs about our lives. I found out that my misconception about Jansenn is wrong. He is a cool guy and he's not a snob. He just finished his thesis regarding the deconstruction of the term discreet and it's all so cool. Marvin joined us later and we began heading into the Octopus where Nate, SOnny, Jansenn and Marvs all went for a ride while the rest of us just watched. at this point, the resident and reigning diva of the ODders mravel aka DOc rommel came and he immediately joined in the fun. At that moment, another PEXER is in the area and he isPJ aka liquid_dreamer, who has lost his wallet. Joms and company all came to the rescue.

We later moved on to the wall-climbing section where the fearless few such as MArvin, NAte,and Sonny began ascending the wall. Joms and Lito has to call it a night owing to the fact that they're gonna go to work tomorrow. As the couple said good nights, Pj came with doc. At first, PJ is a bit apprehensive over the group because of the fact that his wallet was lost. 1st impression with PJ is that he is quite aloof because he was silent at the time. But as time progressed, we began bonding with each other. He really is a lover of music and anime and it seems that our ideas are all connected. I remember yesterday when we cracked jokes with james, dennis and jansenn and it was really a riot. Also, Glendel came and happy birthdays were exchanged, he soon treated us to a can of red horse beers and it really was fun.

As we're sipping the horse, conversation turned to Star In A Million which is like a common bond between us aspiring divas and balladeers. We soon ranted and dissed on the judges, the contestants and began praising all our idols such as Marinel, Sheryn and our favorite Gayle Dizon...and then, conversation turned into the coca-cola thingie and Kill Bill which really is one of my most favorite movies. PJ and I really have a thing for Go-go Yubari and began ranting on the whole movie. Jansenn soon joined the conversation which climaxed into the trio of us repeating the lines of LUcy Liu aka Cottonmouth when she cut off the head of Tanaka.

James soon found trouble when he was refused entrance because of the strong smell of the red horse and we all managed to bring candies, and gums and all went out of the UP Fair. We settled in one of the streets there where the other Odders soon played tv talk show hosts as they quizzed Bryan over some issues. Man, it's like the Inquisition there. hahaha... as Pj and Jansenn continually conversed over some anime stuff. James and I just sat there and listened to the sounds of voices... hehehe... then, it turned into a videoke thingie when james, I, jansenn and pJ just sort of sang and sang whatever song...

It really was a riot night yet the congregation has to break up. 1st to go is Jansenn around 2 and then us around 2:15. I boarded a taxi with doc and Nate and we all said goodbyes with the odders.. it was really a fun night yet I still have classes the following day at around 9:40. sadly, when i reached the house, it was locked so I have to go to Vito Cruz and stay with my Marlon... sadly, i did not get any sleep due to the fact that we have done it again... but a funny thing is that I've understood all the lessons that I have especially on philohi and relsfor... funny, funny thing...

Hope that tomorrow's LoVAPALOOZA and Milan contingent will turn out to be oh-so-fine and well as this wednesday up fair contingent... =)

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

I've missed posting something yesterday

Due to so many things which needs to be taken care of such as my GUICOED assignments and analysis of the strengths and the weaknesses of the DLSU JOb Exposition held last week, I have not opened my blog which is such a sore thing to do.. i've forgotten to chronicle my life yesterday hahahaha... so what can I say about yesterday. It's quite tiring. PHILOHI at 9:40, PHILSPA at 11:10 and RELSFOR at 4:20... the break is quite long although my Marlon and I had some moments in Agno with me getting a re-education on smoking from him. I don't know why people are attracted to smoking. I am not a regular smoker and so is marlon but yesterday, i don't know what hit us that we started smoking a pack of West Ice together... don't know if it really is something to keep our minds off the stress and the workloads that we're having or else...

Then, around 7 yesterday, i typed my report and managed to chat with Jonas, aka will_trumann who is currently based in Singapore. He really is a nice fellow and we've managed to talk about a lot of things such as life in Manila Science, love-life and other things and stuffs... it's so nice to finally connect with someone who have experienced the same things as I have experienced. We've managed to compare our teachers and basically know each one's experience in our alma mater... then, around 9:30, my beau came in his or should i say our apartment in torre lorenzo and we've managed to fool around a little after we've eaten dinner..

Wednesday started with me falling off from the bed twice... and i think my head and elbow is still raw from the afflictions that i've gotten from falling... i think i've banged my head really hard on the wooden floor of my room... oh well.. then it's another ho-hum day for my classes coz I have a CULTHIS and GUICOED class... My professor in CULTHIS has let me borrowed a book regarding the Philippine art forms and i really am fascinated by what I have seen... i really am enamored with art and i think it really is a pleasure to have a real good artist as a professor of the cultural history of the Philippines..

I'm quite looking forward in meeting the odders in the UP fair... UP fair... i'm gonna wall climb... i really hope that i see some of my former batchmates there... then, it's gonna be a singles day on the Lovapalooza on the 13th with the odders where we'll gonna watch milan then off to the lovapalooza but it's gonna be a freaking hot and erotic day on the 14th that I will guarantee..

I really like the song "Break Me" by Jewel... so much erotic and sweet... I'm gonna play it for my marlon on saturday... i'm gonna let him break me.... hahahaha...and i'm gonna break him too... hahaha...

I just found out that PJ aka liquid_dreamer is a user of Cammy too... hahaha... what a coincidence coz I really am a master Cammy user as well... i really like Cammy... Cammy is from the Street Fighter Series, formerly a MI-5 commander and spy who turned out to be the lover(?) of M.Bison and one of Shadoloo's ablest aides... the things i like about Cammy, Cammy is versatile... and she doesn't have the same old strategem of using. Her power is her high priority attacks such as the Rocket Spike, Cannon Drill and the other combos that she has... She has no fireballs or projectile attacks thus making her an elegant and not a cheap character in the series... also, she's quite cute... hahaha and sexy....

It's quite a small world after all... I've found out that Peter, one of my blockmates in college and one of my odders friend, Kenzo are classmates in high school...

Monday, February 09, 2004

Another Boring MOnday:

Today is the 9th of February. A Monday so i'm quite a little bit angsty and mired and happy all at the same time. I'm a bit angsty as of the moment because of the fun that I've missed last Saturday. damn, i would trade any day jsut to be with the group... SUch a pity that I have to miss the congregation last Saturday. But i would make up for the lost ground by coming back full force by joining the odders in the Milan, UP Fair Galore and the Lovapalooza thingie which is gonna happen all in this week. That's one of the reasons why I'm so harried and harrassed.So much to do with so little time. Today, Beyonce won and sweep the grammy's. I have nothing against her but i really do not like her to win in all the categories where she is nominated. I think that her album has something in it which makes me not like it. But, at least Christina Aguilera did pull off the rug of Beyonce's feet by winning the best female vocal performance for her song "Beautiful"... I can't wait for Valentine's Day to come. I'm gonna surprise my beau by cooking for him...


Freaky Weekend

Due to a Valentine's shindig sponsored by our dear History department, I wasn't able to join the odders in Pampanga. And the freakiness did not stop there. I think I saw several ghosts last Saturday. It was around 6 in the evening when I finally departed from the horrendous party/shindig. I was with my beau, Marlon when I felt this necessary urge to go visit the chapel in LS building. When we were praying and offering our candles, I suddenly heard some moaning coming from the altar of the chapel and the whole place became full of groanings and suddenly, the floor began flooded with a red liquid which is so sticky. My beau and I just ran the hell out of the chapel... I swear I'm not gonna go back there.

Sunday is a relatively stress-free day. I woke up with the sound of my bud snoring and with the radio blaring out Ashanti's Rock Wit You, our favorite make-out song. After boozing up the whole weekend, we decided to raid the malls and again we've battled in Capcom vs. SNK. I got the better of him although I think I really should watch for Blanka and King. Their such full of capabilities that my combination of Cammy and Morrigan have found their match in them. Good thing I'm kinda good with King myself that I've managed to escape from the clutches of defeat from the hands of Iori Yagami... then we're off again to the Videoke rooms where again, we managed to dish out our inner angsts against each other through a screaming err... singing match... hahahaha...


Saturday, February 07, 2004

Valentine's day problemo and song review

Valentine's Day is just a week from now and I've got to make plans for my Marlon and I. but, how could and should we celebrate Valentine's Day?? hmmmm....

It's been quite long since I've last reviewed a song.. So I'm gonna do it again... The song is You Don't My Name by Alicia KEys.. Alicia is one of the best singers in my opinion and is uber talented.. she could play the piano and belt as much..

You don't know my name by Alicia Keys


Baby, baby, baby from the day I saw you
I really, really wanted to catch your eye
There's something special 'bout you
I must really like you
'Cause not a lot of guys are worth my time
Ooh baby, baby, baby
It's getting kinda crazy
'Cause you are taking over my mind

And it feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
I swear
It feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?

Oh, baby, baby, baby
I see us on our first date
You doing everything that makes me smile and when we had our first kiss
It happened on a Thursday
Oh, it set my soul on fire
Oh, baby, baby, baby
I can't wait for the first time, my imagination's running wild

And it feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
I swear
It feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?

I'm saying, "He don't even know what he's doing to me
Got me feeling all crazy inside
I'm feeling like whoa!"
I'm doing nothing I've never done for anyone's attention
Take notice of what's in front of you cause did I mention?
Whoa, you about to miss a good thing
And you'll never know how good it feels to have all of my affection
And you'll never get a chance to experience my loving, whoa
'Cause my loving feels like

Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?
Will you ever know it? No, no, no, no, no
Will you ever know it?

Well I'm a'have to just go head and call this boy:
"Hello? Can I speak to, to Michael? Oh, hey how you doing? I feel kinna silly doin this but uh, this is the waitress at the coffee house on 39th and Lenox, you know that, one with the braids? Yeah, well I see you on Wednesdays all the time, you come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think, and you always order the special, with the hot chocolate. My manager be tripping, talking about we gotta use water, but I always use some milk and cream for you, cause I think you kinda sweet. Anyway, you always got on some fly blue suit and your cufflinks is shining all bright. So what you do? Oh word? Yeah that's interesting, Look man I don't wanna waste your time but I know girls don't usually do this, but I was wondering if maybe we could get together outside the restaurant one day? You know cause I do look a little different outside my work clothes. I mean we could just go across the street to the park right yeah. Wait, hold up my... my cell phone, breaking up, hold up, can you hear me now? Yeah, so what day did you say? Oh yeah, Thursday, perfect man!

And it feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
I swear
It feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?

And it feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
I swear
It feels like
Ooh, ooh, ooh
You don't know my name
Round and round and round we go
Will you ever know?



The Outsiders: Unmasking the Masculine Non-straight

Today is Saturday and it's precisely a week from now is Valentine's Day. The group of Odders are going to the city of San Fernando to celebrate the birthday of Kahleevogue or Chris Paldeng.

For today, I would like to list the group of the Outsiders of Pinoyexchange. I feel like I really felt my family there. So, I'm gonna list them one by one and say what my impressions on them...

i'm Econ_major btw, and that has been my PEX handle for two years now. I've first met the odders on the Christmas Party last December 20. And man, my gaydar went haywire. First impressions say that they are as masculine as the most straight guys but we really are gay men.. Damn...then, 2nd time I meet them is when we watched the LOTR:ROTK.

Lemme tell you more about the history of the thread and my group. The Outsiders thread is mainly an off-shoot of the threads of SNAGG, Union and the Alien Nation Thread. Most of us have been constantly PEXING 2 years ago and camaraderie and friendship have been built eventhough I've never met them. Then came the time when we have to split from the Alien Nation Thread because of irreconcillable differences regarding certain topics. At first, I did not immediately transfer to the Outsiders mainly because I did not know what was happening at that time. But, as the days go by and as almost all the Pexers posting in the nation thread shifted to the outsiders, i suddenly began drifiting towards them. The reason behind is that Endymionn and the likes have always been a constant source of ethereal wisdom and intelligence to me. They have made me grow as an individual in all aspects.

To make my decision fair to both threads, I've asked the founders of the threads regarding the whole idea and notion and principles supporting the thread. And Garrrp's honesty has persuaded me to join them. Plus, Endymionn and Mravel have narrated and shared their opinions. So I joined them and become a constant poster on the topics over the Net... so here I am...

Lemme give you the list of the ODDERS and my impressions on them:

James aka Garrrp. He founded the Outsiders roughly around September last year. He's quite short but what he lacks in height he compensates to his greatness in thinking and in depth. He's one of the person's who echo the theme of "silent water runs deep". plus, he's also an educ. major which makes us colleagues... He's also a whammy... hehehe... and i could say he really is a mature person regarding the whole thing where ha has to set his man free...

Joms/Jay aka Endymionn/Tripnautica/Machina This guy is one of my heroes. Both my beau and I idolize his philosophies, ideologies and all stuff regarding the PLU way of life. He constantly impresses me with his ever innovative ideas. He's also quite a good strategist and planner as attested on how good he is in both mind games and strategy games. He is a good writer and he has this something with him which really connects me to him. I constantly feel for his posts. He communicates his ideas in a way that i feel for him. He's quite tall and stockily built but what the heck. I really want to strike up an in-depth conversation with him one of these days. He also is my constant adviser on affairs of the heart and both my beau and I constantly look up to him. What i could say is that he really has earned my respect and ever constant loyalty.

Jonas aka will_trumann Fellow Mascian. quite tall and also a whammy. Not a snob and is sure is a MAriah fan. he's now in Singapore to further continue his studies. Loves and adores PIOLO... hahaha

Zeki aka Jagard I think he's the hottest gay fellow i've ever laid my eyes upon. Such a brickhouse as mrav would put it. Such an ever-source of personality tests. I think he really is a deep and sensitive person.... have i already say that my marlon wants to have sex with him... joke...

doc Rommel aka Mrav The DIVA of the odders. always loud and a constant source of funny things and deep insights...INnovator of some odder language like chumorva and some other stuff.

Stan aka Bruder_john My batchmate in MSHS. he really is not an original member of the odders but i've met him in the Christmas Party. He's now one of us. He's quite a looker and very, very, very good conversationalist. We persuaded him to finally join us and I think he's quite happy with the way life goes for him.

Francis aka Bocelli The hubby of Zeki. He graduated from DLSU too. Tall Chinese fellow with a good voice and exudes intellectuality and refinedness.

Marvin aka Kirsch Former CAT commander on our high school. Chinky-eyed fellow and always cracking up jokes. Currently, he's in an off mood with his partner.

PJ aka liquid_dreamer I've never met him. I first met him via the SIAM thread where we are both ardent supporters of the Soul Sensation, Gayle Dizon. He's also a whammy by his pics and one of the ardent anime lovers of the thread.

Dennis aka Goonie He's also a professor in our sister school CSB. He's a large and jovial person who has openly admitted me to the group and also a great conversationalist. He's a batchmate of Francis. Plus, he's one of my constant ym chatmates.

CHris aka Kahleevogue One of the Cabalens among us. Quite dark and stocky but i know that he really is a guy and girl magnet. Such a nice person too. I remember when we watched the LOTR and he sat near me so as not to alienate myself. =)

Dennis aka benchboy Like me, he also is a lover of the song Rainbow by South Border. also, i think that he exudes a lot of potential and by his posts reflect that he really is something more.

Bryan aka kugel. A SMK... he looks really like Jon Hall of Bench underwears. really, really attractive.

Roy aka jollieboie Tall dude, a pending diva

Sonny aka Ajman Another hunk. with his bonnet and tight polo shirts, i really am attracted to him. hahaha... kidding aside, he's quite fun too

Resto aka RCcola Atenean... and a wide reader of books

Jansenn aka villagevoice A Thomasian... and also a wide reader of books

Arjae aka d_alchemist A Great party planner and also exudes confidence.

Glendel aka ledneg20 The man of MArvin. Met him in the ROTK watching and we bonded also...

Paul aka Stolich Main competition of Mrav for the DIVA award... Exudes humor and a certain amount of bitchiness which i think all people should have. I really do admire his frankness.

Nathan aka 3than His jusme, jusme and one-liners should be copyrighted.

Chris aka Fyro Not met him but he's quite a whammy too judging by his pics and i really do wanna thank him for giving me some serious advice regarding my problemo with Marlon. PLus, his stories are a constant source of wry wit and humor

Christian aka 4mer_pexer hahaha... We're currently playing a game of hide and seek. A fellow SIAM fan, a fellow DLSU student.

Benedict aka Kenzo the winner of the Sahara desert award. Quite a young and nice lad and i feel like that we really connected. quite a music, book lover too...

I could go and rattle off but I've not met the following persons but am quite as happy to be one with them: tennister, XETRADAX and the others..

Damn... i think i've profiled enough for this day. All i can say is that I am happy with them and I sure hope too that i could join them more.

Friday, February 06, 2004

It's quite a night of achievements. The solidarity of our brotherhood in PInoyexchange remained intact. I'm so happy about that. Another thing which makes me happy is that i've found Marlon's id pic... hahahaha... he looked all so cute and innocent

Today, I have realized that I have been PExing for two years now. It really seems that time really flew by.. 2 years have already passed since I've first engaged in the PLU way of life... My life has changed forever and I think it's for the best. I'm quite happy now and comfortable with the way my life is going and I'm quite happy about my new found friends and all the people there...

I've got 149 in my friendster network... just one more and i'll get my wish

Thursday, February 05, 2004

What can I say...

The Odders of Pinoyexchange are gonna go to San Fernando to celebrate the birthday of one of us, Chris Paldeng. Unluckily, i will have to miss yet another opportunity to join them... the reason, i can't find a suitable way to tell my parents that there will be an overnight plus it would be going to San Fernando... i could always sneak out but i'm trying to be a good boy now...

I'm liking Philohi... i don't wanna blow his brains out anymore... I think he just really rubbed me off the wrong way..

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Another ho-hum day

Nothing much has happened in my life.... just love the song Rainbow of South Border... exudes a lot of positivity... had sex about a few hours ago... and maybe have another round of some hot action later...

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Another insignificant day in the life of Henry

Today is another ho-hum day... I feel like my life has already lost its zest and vigor. There's nothing new in my life as of the moment. My day basically begins with me just waking up around 6:50 to listen to the Morning Zoo Crew then continue in a semi-awakened state of being.. listening, yet not understanding. After taking a big time showering and preparing to go to school, i will immerse myself through dabbling in history and focusing on Economics. Even my love and sex life has turned quite sour and it felt like it was all a routine. Even my conversations with Marlon has turned quite shallow. I feel that my brain is degenarating... I think I'm spreading myself too thinly and i think I've beaten up more than I can chew.

I need to recuperate and rejuvenate and recharge myself... and I'm gonna start doing it NOW. I won't procrastinate and I won't do myself any harm... I will change... I will change for the better... and I'm gonna commit this mantra and incorporate it into my being.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on a happy note

Finally, my beau and I have finally reached ammends regarding the whole saturday night episode. I finally got the courage to swallow my pride and admit my mistake. It's such a nice thing that Marlon is such an understanding fellow and he really understands and feels for me in the situation... I think I'm falling for him deeper and deeper... I think I'm falling off the cliff of love again, and the feeling is exhilirating, and full of excitement... Speaking of which, I need to think of plans for our 1st Valentine together. damn, I need a surge of inspiration and a whisper or glimmer of creativity now...

Monday, February 02, 2004

Last Saturday night turned out to be such a freaking hell day for me. I found out that Charisse is of the Economics Society of our counterpart school ADMU... it really freaked the hell out of me when she started parading my man in front of the people... I immediately turned green with jealousy... hopefully the matter will be resolved later when i talk with my beau




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